Dearest Paul Daniel

Singapore, January 2016

Dearest Paul Daniel:

I have always loved your name Kuya Paul. You have such a beautiful, blessed name. So very much like your personality – saint-like, kind, down-to-earth, sweet, respectful, polite, and my list could go on and on about how good of a boy you are Kuya Paul; but mind you, you are also impatient, self-destructive, distracted, easily persuaded, and, again, my list could go on and on about how you need to improve in this department.

However, this birthday letter is not about who you are Kuya Paul today – while we anticipate your 12^th birthday on March 21, 2018.

My goal is to inspire you so you become the person you are meant to be. In my 34 years as a sometimes-living/sometimes-zombie human being, I have come to learn that life is not about the good or the bad, nor is it pure black and white. Life is a magnificent burst of colors. It is sometimes bad, at times better, a few times in-between, but mostly, good.

So good Kuya Paul this life that we have. This life we have been blessed with, it can only be good. REMEMBER that Kuya Paul, when times are difficult, when you feel like you can no longer breathe, or when you feel like you want to end it all. At times too, when it seems like everything is going your way, ALWAYS REMEMBER to be grateful to The One Above who has blessed you with such a ‘good’ life.

Secondly, you are special Paul Daniel. Why would The One Above create you, Kuya Paul? Why would He put you inside Mama’s tummy if you weren’t? You were an ‘express’ delivery, mind you. Papa Emar and I didn’t expect you, but still you came. That is how special you are my not-so-little boy.

REMEMBER that, when you feel like giving up on school, on your homework, on your Math or AP lessons, on your writing career, cartooning dreams, or learning to tie your sports shoes. You are special and you have a role to play in your lifetime. Whatever that is, pray. Let The One Above guide you. I cannot impose this on you, my dear Kuya Paul.

You’ve got free will. We’ve been gifted this from The One Above. Therefore, you always have a choice. Choose where you want to go Kuya Paul. Choose which path you want to take. Papa Emar and I, with younger sister Phoebe Dawn, will be with you all the way.

We might let go of your hand, in the process. That is only because we want you to journey on your own. We do not want to influence you one way or the other. More importantly, we don’t want to slow you down. REMEMBER that Kuya Paul.

REMEMBER, that we will always be with you – in your memories, in your cellphone photos (of course) and inside a portion of your big heart. So, if you feel, right into the future, that we seemed to have left you to fend for yourself.

No, no, no. REMEMBER, we want you to grow into the ‘person’ The One Above has planned. Besides, you can always text me, or your Papa Emar, or Phoebe Dawn – when you feel lonely.

Finally, make room for love Kuya Paul and falling in love in your lifetime – and everything that comes with it to include the heartbreaks, heartaches, heart palpitations, and the indescribable feeling of needing someone ever so badly.

Please try not to skip this part out. Well, a ‘love life’ won’t define you as a person in the long run, but it could shape the ‘human’ part in you – whether because you’ve been hurt or because you love so deeply that every day your partner brings with her a basketful of happiness, every morning a ray of sunshine, or every minute, she literally takes your breath away. Don’t miss out on this.

REMEMBER to love and allow yourself to be loved. From the exterior, you might seem to have been made only with soft parts Kuya Paul but believe me, you are built to last, shine and leave an imprint in your lifetime. So, open up yourself to your ‘one true love’ – when the time is ‘right’, whenever that is.

I love you Paul Daniel Vergara. I will always remain as your number one fan no matter the circumstance, your ‘monster mom’, your ever-reliable tutor, and your ‘one true friend’ today and the years to come.

Papa Emar, Phoebe Dawn and I love you to the moon and back, a 100x over!

Signed With Love:

Mama Jima