Unraveling

Unraveling.

Per Dictionary.com, it means:

1. to separate or disentangle the threads of (a woven or knitted fabric, a rope, etc.)

2. to free from complication or difficulty; make plain or clear; solve: to unravel a situation; to unravel a mystery.

3. Informal. to take apart; undo; destroy (a plan, agreement, or arrangement)

Unraveling. This is how I would describe my 2019. That is, the continuous separation of the good from the bad; the ever unending act of disentangling the negative from the positive; the everyday need to free myself from life's complications --- to make plain, clear, and simplify.

Unraveling.

It has been quite the journey, 2019. You have been good, kind, mean, rude, generous, deceptive, tender, caring, unloving --- all at once. A few more days to go and we will all be saying goodbye, good riddance to the year that was.

But, 2019, you have also been one of the best years in my 36 years of existence. At the beginning, you appeared to be any other year --- same highs and lows; then around March, a turnaround. My New Year has come, I once professed in a poem.

Sometime in July, I decided to close my dream bookshop to de-clutter my schedule, to lessen the mental stress and the financial issues; and thus, make way for newer, better, and more worthy causes.

As much as I wanted to grieve, doors (opportunities) were suddenly opening up for me with the September 30, 2019 closure of the physical store of iRead Bookshop. We still exist --- the bookshop still exists --- but we do all transactions online (via email, text, or FB messenger) now. I decided, too, to deactivate the bookshop's Facebook Page because, as of the moment, I still have no idea what to market in it.

Some of our books are now with Crafters Corner Ormoc (same location as the bookshop, along J. Navarro St.); and the few school / office supplies left are with me at home. Business documents are still intact, so, we are still ready to serve your bookshop needs and requirements (whatever they may be). Bulk orders are very much encouraged, too.

I kicked off 2019 with Jeremiah 29:11 --- For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a hope and a future. And I believe this passage got me through the year. I believed. Claimed with all my heart that my amazing God had a good plan for me.

He did not fail me. Towards the end of the year, blessings in the form of service came tumbling down from up above, behind and in front. I could not refuse and my heart was telling me not to, but to accept this differently-wrapped blessing wholeheartedly. 

With the closure of the physical bookstore, I had time to devote myself to causes He believed I could be of much use, on top of my work for EV Mail.

Today, I serve the city of beautiful people through the beautiful work that we do with my KATIG Writers family. We are blessed to have been given a seat by the Ormoc City Culture and Arts Council to represent literary arts and its sister artforms.

I was blessed too this 2019 to grow spiritually. Through my Servants of the Living God (SLG) faith community, I now have a real, more meaningful, genuine, and loving relationship with my wonderful God. He is timeless, faithful, seeks you and never lets you go, once found. 

This is my story. My blessing. And, currently, I serve in its Word and Communications Ministry. It is true what Ephesians 1:11 tells us about predestination --- In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will.

It just affirms how we are not mistakes, how we are made for a reason, a purpose, a Being.

Then, in the middle of November, another door opened --- again, a blessing in the form of service. Suddenly, I found myself in the midst of medical people, among volunteers serving humanity. In the blink of an eye, I was elected as 1 of 7 new Board of Directors of the Philippine Red Cross Ormoc City Chapter.

I thought I was going to end 2019 uneventful; but then again, God had other plans. So without thinking straight or twice, I took on the responsibility. And God has been generously blessing me since. 

It is still unfathomable to this human brain of mine though how I ever find time for the many roles I play --- wife, mother, servant, daughter, writer, etc. It must be all His doing.

It could only be His leading. Even this new work opportunity / service I am being offered currently, which I have to mull on, deeply and at length, in the next few days. 

Oh, 2019. You have been unforgiving. Unraveling me, for my own good. 

2020. I cannot wait for what you have in store. Excitement. Fear. Optimism. They all grip me at arm's length. Will not let me go. Until I hear His voice. Until I find His hand. 

Oh, 2019. What many blessings you have poured upon me and my family. My heart is always full, filled to the brim. Overflowing. Overwhelming, at times. Totally grateful.

2020. Though the fear of my New Year plans not turning out to be fill my head constantly, a small voice dispels this darkness though. For 2020, I feel the truth in John 14:27 shall be my armor against all odds this coming New Year --- Peace I leave with you. My Peace. Don't let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful.

2020, I shall take you with a grain of salt, that is, not too seriously, but not too jokingly, too. 😅 The lessons my 36 years have taught me, I bring with me as I embark on another amazing year. 2020, here I come! Here we come! 😋